My first Christmas in heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me you know I hold you dear and be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift from my heavenly home above I sent you each a memory of my undying love

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold It was always most important in the stories Jesus told

Please love and keep each other as my Father said to do for I can't count the blessings or love he has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Our angel Melissa

 

Kyla asks about Mel all the time. I told her she was an angel that will watch over her up in the sky beyond the clouds. When we see an airplane she asks if the plane will bring her back down to us. It crushes me to tell her no, we will not see Melissa anymore, she is with God.  She told me she saw Melissa the other day. Melissa was with E.T. and they scared off the snakes and monsters under her bed. I do believe she is still around in spirit. I would love it if she would be Kyla's imaginary friend. Wyatt will grab Melissa's necklace that I wear and I tell him that Melissa gave it to me and he gets a huge smile on his face and says, Lissa. One of the main things Melissa said she would miss was the kids growing up and getting older, but I do believe she is still around and watching us all. At times I can feel her presence. It's the weirdest feeling, but I love it. She will see them grow older and I will make sure that they remember her and I know that she loved them like her own. Merry Christmas Melissa.

Letter from Jacob

I miss you every hour of every day.  You told me to promise you to be happy; you told me to promise that I would move on.  All I can remember is Nashville; the awesome dry-rubbed ribs we shared there, sharing our love.  Going to Florida with your family, going to Thanksgiving and having to sleep in grandma Hunter's spare bedroom by myself and getting locked in by that weird lock that night while Kyla screamed out in the main area of the house.  I remember going out to nice dinners, while you would get ready in the spare bedroom with your music playing loud in the background and seeing the beautiful you coming out of the room ready for the evening.  I remember laying in bed with the tv on, watching braveheart, how you said that Mark Schmidt had stood up applauding at the end of the movie as you laid there with your head on my shoulder.  I remember all the time you spent helping with my grandma and how you would say that we needed to go see her while she was in the hospital and once she got home.  I remember surprising you on my birthday with a proposal; especially since you didn't notice the ring hanging off of the huge piece of chocolate cake that I had requested for you so you may notice the shiny thing hanging off...  I remember the 6 stressful months leading up to the wedding and I barely remember the actual wedding - it was all a blur.  The only thing I remember from that day is how unimaginably beautiful you were walking down as I was standing with the pastor waiting.  You were perfect.  I remember the awesome flight to Tahiti after we missed our first flight from Houston and barely made it to the connection.  I remember all the nights of gale force winds and rain in tahiti and the cool old french guy who served us many good meals there out of a shack on the side of the road.  I remember the old topless lady you pointed out while we were sitting out drinking crown and coke by the water in the sun.  I remember how you admired all the turtles in the pond by our room.  I remember the awesome views we got to share and how happy I was that it was with you.  I remember the 8 hour flight back in the very rear of the plane so we couldn't lean our seats back and sleep.  I remember wishing you didn't work so much so we could take more vacations and I remember finally getting you to Colorado for the 4th of July.  I remember your glasses sliding down your nose when I got you to shoot the 12 gauge and how glad you were to fish "regular" and be able to cast out and reel in instead of letting the bait sit like we did when we went camping and you had that flat tire on your bike  about 2 miles in to the sandy trail on the hottest day of that year and having to walk back.  I remember how much I wished you could have stayed in Colorado as long as I was staying and how much I missed you when you came home to go back to work.  I remember when I did finally get home and you had complained about stomach problems.  I remember hoping that it was only C.Dif and I didn't care if I got it, too, as long as yours went away.  I remember getting nervous when you kept having to go to the doctor and they really couldn't figure anything out.  I remember being mad about having to take you to the urgent care clinic because you thought your ankles were swollen and you thought you were going into heart failure.  I remember rushing down to south Houston when you were admitted so they could run tests.  I remember them transferring you and the new doctors saying that they were going to go in and do an exploratory surgery that would only take and hour to 1-1/2 hours.  I remember feeling nervous when we hadn't heard anything after an hour.  I remember my heart sinking and wanting to throw up when the doctor called us in to the room and gave us the news.  I remember being angry with the oncologist for being a bitch.  I remember not knowing how to act when they wheeled you by after surgery, only feeling numb from the news and trying to act normal so you wouldn't be worried.  I remember the long nights in SICU, when you were attacked by a cult at 1:30 in the morning.  I remember bringing you home and being happy that you were "better" at the time, not knowing what was going to happen but trying to stay optimistic.  I remember transferring to the other hospital and starting chemo; I hated what that did to you and still ask myself, in retrospect, was it worth it?  Would it have been better if they hadn't done chemo?  Would it have been any easier on you?  I remember the ups and downs throughout the last 2 months of your life and how hard it was on the both of us.  I remember the nervous drive when your sister took you to the ER while I was at work and how she wouldn't answer any of my questions as I sat in the worst traffic of my life trying to get there.  I remember walking in your room and hearing the news.  I remember you telling me to promise you to be happy and to go on with my life.  I remember you telling me that I was the best thing that ever happened to you.  I remember telling you that I couldn't believe this was happening.  I couldn't believe that you were going to leave; it couldn't be true.  I remember the transfer to palliative care and the subsequent fight with the doctors to try and keep you there so you would have 24 hour support.  I remember the talks we had; I remember what you said about what I am supposed to do with the life insurance and am already working to make sure that all happens.  I remember you apologizing for how things turned out and telling me that you love me.  I remember the struggle it was to bring you home so you could breathe better; the wait on the hospice care and sitting home waiting for you.  I remember how you got mad at me for singing the song from the commercial.  I remember you telling me that you were sorry and thanking me for staying around and that you love me.  I remember you having a bad day and the outcome of that same night.  I remember everything and I will always love you.  I know you're not in pain anymore and I know that we will be together again someday.  I remember you, the best thing that ever happened to me.  My memories are not half of what we experienced together but they are still all there.  I hope you hear all my thoughts coming your way; and let God know that the moths are still in the pantry and are still not going away no matter how many are destroyed.  I killed some that were attached earlier and remembered how you shouted "they're doing it!!" when you found them like that before...  I love you always.
Jacob

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Melissa's Slideshow

Time has taken

Time has taken me from you, although not very far.

I'll be watching through the sunshine and through the brightest star.

I'll be watching all of you from the heavens up above.

So take good care of each other and carry all my love.

If you're ever wondering if I'm there, here's where you can start.

Take a look inside yourself, deep within your heart.

 I'll always be your wife, your child and grandchild, your best friend.

So anytime you need me, close your eyes I'm back again.

He only takes the best

God saw you getting tired, and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around you, and whispered "come to me"
With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands to rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us, he only takes the best.
Melissa Ann Noack
In loving remembrance.

Playing with Kyla and Wyatt and silly string